When I was just eight years old, I made one of those stupid, life-long repercussions mistakes. Thinking I was pretty cool, I’d been doing push-ups in the living room….with my feet on the couch and my hands on the coffee table. Of course, this would lead to disaster as do most youthful “good ideas” and my hands slipped off the edge of the table. Down I went – face first onto the edge of the wood table. After the initial shock and horror wore off, I realized I’d chipped my front left tooth… into the shape of a jagged-edge dagger – pretty much diagonally across the middle.
My mother, poor thing, took me to the dentist where they placed on an acrylic cap that was to be replaced with a porcelain cap when I was all done growing. As the years passed, many other “tragedies” befell this same tooth, meaning that cap was replaced a couple of times. Once I decided to climb a marble pillar in front of the library, smacked my face on the pillar as I slid down (another great idea) and chipped the cap. Another time, I was popped in the face with a plastic ice cream cone by a bully on the bus and the cap was chipped off again. As I grew into my awkward teenage years and stopped throwing myself around recklessly, (and learned to avoid bullies armed with plastic fake food), I stopped chipping my tooth so much. Of course, because it was acrylic, that means it stained easily. Soon, I was refusing to smile with my mouth open, or talking with my hand in front of my mouth, as this one poor tooth was so dark in comparisson to the rest.
Finally, at age 25 I’d decided enough was enough. I went to the dentist and dished out the required dough (a whole LOT of required dough) to have that cap changed to a porcelain one. The dentist decided that actually both front teeth should be capped as the acrylic cap had caused some damage to the front tooth next to it.
If you’ve ever had to go through this experience, you’ll know what this entails. If not and things make you queasy easily, you may want to take caution for the rest of this post.
What happens when they do this acrylic to porcelain cap replacement, is that they first obviously remove the acrylic cap. Fine. No problem there. Then, they grind down the teeth underneath to little tiny nubs. At this point, having this second step accomplished, the dentist painted the nubs with some kind of chemical and decided I needed to be left in the semi-dark room alone for a half hour while this chemical dried. Being of a curious nature, and being left alone with nothing better to do for a half hour, I couldn’t restrain myself and decided it would be a good idea to check myself out in the mirror and see what this “nubs” business was all about.
I can tell you… it was a horrifying image. Yet, somehow, like when you smell something that really, really smells bad and then you have to smell it again just to make sure it does really smell as bad as you thought… I couldn’t stop looking. Soon enough, I was making hideous faces at myself in the mirror, and then bringing tears to my own eyes with my hysterical (yet mostly silent) laughter…. right up until the nurse caught me. It was somewhat akin to the time my mother bought me footy pajamas as an adult. I put on the pajamas, put my hair in pigtails (the high up on your head kind, mind you) and borrowed one of the kids stuffed animals. Once prepared fully – I walked into the bathroom to check myself out in the full length mirror. That might just be the hardest I’ve ever, ever laughed. (P.s. I decided against wearing the footy pajamas EVER just because I’d decided that if the house were to burn down in the night, and I had to flee with just the clothes on my back… footy jammies were NOT what I wanted to be stuck with.) (Plus, have you ever SEEN an adult in footy jammies? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)
After the nurse (quite amused, I might add), got me settled back into a chair, the dentist returned. At this point is when he decided to tell me about the “temporaries” they’d put on while some company somewhere far away in a land somewhere over the rainbow would take a couple of weeks to make my actual caps. He sculpted away in the corner of the room, his back to me for some time. Eventually he came back with just one piece to place over the two nubs. As he finished, he handed me the mirror. OH>>>>> MY>>>>> WOW….. They looked like one giant piece of chewed gum had been placed in the space where my teeth should have been. They were also HUGE. I tried to talk. What happened was a sound came out that reminded me of Gopher from Winnie the Pooh. A whistle, a lisp…. it was …. strange. Yep, these teeth were impossible to talk around.
For the next couple of weeks, I had to deal with trying to close my mouth around, and hide in conversation, these gigantic chewed gum teeth in my mouth. This might have been easier had I not had the job I had. Unfortunately, at the time, I owned a newspaper that I’d unfortunately named “The Messenger” …. try saying that with a lisp. Sigh. Unfortunately also that happened to be an extremely busy two weeks, phone wise, so every call I answered, “Hewwo…dissss issss da messhengher….jesshicah schpeakin”. ***SIGH***
When my caps finally arrived I was so excited! I went in and they removed the gum teeth… about an hour later, the dentist was finally done placing the actual porcelain caps and I got to take a look. Oh NO> they looked a little like rabbit teeth.The dentist realized right away that they didn’t look right either…He offered to re-do them right away at no cost, but that would require sending away for new teeth again…. and also, he noted that the teeth didn’t come any whiter than the ones I got, which were still just a tad lighter than the rest of my teeth (I was a good brusher my whole life :D) But then after the last couple of weeks, I thought – there’s NO WAY I wanted to go through that all again.
I told him I’d think about it.
I’ve never really been one of those people who’s got to look perfect. I don’t have to have every hair in place, flawless make-up and a simply smashing outfit everyday. I’m a mom, and I’m a very busy mom. I take care of a lot of people. I do dress up, and I do spend time on my appearance, but not to the point where I’m investing too much time into it. We need to be sure to invest time to being pretty on the inside too, after all!
One day during my “thinking about it” time, I sat in front of the mirror, while waiting in a car, making silly faces at myself… pushing my teeth out over my bottom lip to see what I would look like as a rabbit. As I was laughing at myself, I realized something. I make myself laugh. I think I’m pretty funny. That’s pretty much the important thing. These silly rabbit-looking teeth aren’t so important that I’d put myself through more physical pain and some couple of weeks worth of annoying-ness just because they look a little silly. I kind of like a little silly. Sometimes I think people take me too seriously anyway. I decided to not only keep, but embrace my rabbit teeth!
So I don’t talk with a whistly-lisp anymore after the permanent ones were put on, and they’re still not quite as white as my other teeth. They do look a little “different”, but I wouldn’t want them to be “perfect” anyway. This is MY face, and I like it.
About six or seven months ago, I started an Etsy shop. I spend lots of time looking at items on Etsy and purchasing items there, so I thought “why not?”. It seemed like the people who sell stuff on the site are managing to at least sell items.
So I did my research and read all kinds of blogs on Etsy about how to start a page and market a page… and yet… I’m not getting any traffic. One item I had up for three weeks – it had one view. How sad. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong.
Take a look, let me know if you know…
I am a full time news editor for a small weekly publication in Southwest Minnesota. In my spare time I enjoy spending time with my three kids, husband and our family pets Jack (the Lhasa Poo) and Sam (the fat, orange cat). I love to go junking, travel and work on my various projects! I also operate a marketing business based on video marketing in addition to everything else. My favorite journalism duties are when I get to write about people who create!
This morning while I was in the shower I decided to run for president. Not president of the United States but President of Earth. At first I was going to call myself President of the World but since there is undoubtedly other forms of life out there, some of which might actually be more advanced than us, I decided to limit my jurisdiction to president of just this planet. Of course there are a few obstacles I’ll need to overcome before I can officially be recognized as president.
First, I’ll need there to actually be a position called President of Earth but I think if I write my congressman that shouldn’t be a problem. After all, our congressmen do read each of our letters and understand that if they want to get re-elected they better act accordingly.
Second, I should probably get an updated map of the planet so I can speak intelligently to the masses. The map I have now still has Iraq as an independent country. I’m pretty sure that was recently named the fifty third state of the United States right after Iran and North Korea. I think Iraq is now called Bushland or The Republic of Halliburton.
Once I become President of Earth there will be a few major changes to the way things are done. The first thing is baseball. I will ask every country on the planet to create a baseball team. It is in sport that mankind will learn to settle their differences instead of war. You never see Boston and New York bombing each other do you? No! That’s because we have the Yankees and Red Sox rivalry. I can see it now…France versus United States in the World Series to determine who gets the rights to Saint Martin Island.
And we’ll hold the Olympics every year. Of course I’ll get one of those fancy club seats with the cabana boy named Pepe bringing me my wine with a smile. Just one perk of being President of Earth I guess.
I’ll live in a huge presidential palace with central air and everything. I won’t need Secret Service protection because all the people will love me for providing peace on Earth. There will be one massive armed forces under my command. It will not be used to harm other Earthlings. It is only there in the event we are invaded by extra terrestrials. I’ll call them Earth Force and they’ll have really cool uniforms.
If I’m elected President of Earth people will learn to trust and appreciate their brothers and sisters. I will lead by example and show the entire population what we can accomplish if we act as one cohesive race instead of dozens of individual races all claiming superiority and birth rites. Of course we’ll have to accomplish all those wonderful things in a thirty hour work week because this forty hours is for the birds.
Lastly I’d like to close with this. If I am elected President of Earth as I hoped and dreamed I would in the shower this morning, I promise to be an honest and trustworthy leader. Because after all, isn’t that all we really want? A politician that just tells the truth.
If you agree that I would make an ideal President of Earth then write your congressman today and make it happen. Remember, even the largest ocean waves begin with a mere drip of water. I am that drip.
At my office, we like to have fun. I am a news editor at a small weekly newspaper in rural Minnesota. Since there’s just two full time employees and one part timer, we get to know each other pretty well. This is why sometimes, we can have fun at work. My part-time graphic designer happens to know I like Zombies. Just because I think they are fun. Plus – there’s a lot of fun zombie signs, etc.,. So recently, he made me this:
Yeah, it’s a little weird, but I still printed and framed it 😀
Another fun day at work was the day I brought one of my creations in and sat sipping tea like nothing was wrong, waiting for someone to notice that the teacup I had made said something funny. When nobody said anything I finally said, “Hello! Did nobody notice this?” Yeah, they had. They just didn’t think it was out of the ordinary for me.
I made three “Hussy” cups and two “Trollop” cups. They all sold. Most of them to my cousin who shares my wicked sense of humor…
I often spend time browsing through other people’s blogs to see what the latest trends are. Lately, I’ve been doing so more often. Because it’s addicting. It’s like coffee. Ironically, while I’m browsing… I’m also drinking coffee. Then I find myself at the end of the day full of pent up energy from loading myself up with caffeine and sitting dormant. That’s okay, though, because then I’m jived and inspired to get to work on my projects.
So now I’ll admit – this week, I’ve been on a ROLL browsing blogs. It’s been such a distraction, I forgot I put the dog outside, and my poor Lhasa Poo, Jack, was out in the rain for an hour and a half. He’d have been okay if he’d remembered to go in his dog house, but he never does. After a bath, I was back online. Soon, I realized it was 11:30 and wow – 5 a.m. comes quick.
Anyway – see there I go all distracted again – here’s some of the good ones I found: